How Do You Cope with Conflicts?

I have a friend named B.

She goes to church, she prays, and she reads a good deal of self-help and spiritual books and magazines.

At first glance, you'd really think that she's too good.

But wait until you talk to her friends.

One said she cried buckets because of her conflict with B because B said so many nasty words to her.

Another said he hardly understand her ways, one minute she's ok, another minute it's as if World War 3 is about to happen.

I was not surprised. Why?

Because I have my own shares of conflict with B too.

Conflict Addiction

con·flict (knflkt)n.

1. A state of open, often prolonged fighting.
2. A state of disharmony between incompatible or antithetical persons, ideas, or interests; a clash.

ad·dic·tion (-dkshn)n.

a. The condition of being habitually or compulsively occupied with or or involved in something.

So join them together to understand what I mean.

I Was Once A Conflict Addict

In the past, I would shout at my children for doing things that for me were unpleasant.

I would find even the smallest issues that can trigger a week-long fight between me and my husband.

I would squeeze the remaining creativity that my subordinates have just to meet their deadlines.

I would react in a very provocative way when my friends seemed to have a bad day and ignore me.

I would angrily text back as fast as a person typing 100 words/minute whenever my dad texts me asking again for money.

And the maids were not spared too.

How I Changed from a Conflict Addict to Peace Addict?

It was not an easy transformation.

But I must admit that I'm not yet totally changed.

I'm still a God's work in progress.

So how I managed to avoid conflicts?

By finding God.

On Attending The Feast

It's the happiest place on earth.

People sing, worship, and serve God with all their hearts.

It's a place where you can just be you.

And just like everyone else, you begin to trust the Lord more, and believe, and have hope.

When I'm there, I feel so at peace with the Lord.

Thus, my inner peace radiates, until there's no more room for conflicts.

But God Puts Me to the Test

God seems to tell me, "My child, without conflict, you will not learn more of life's lessons. So I'm putting you to these tests."

It's difficult to be in conflict with someone, especially with people close to your life.

But everything happens according to God's plans.

And so, how you cope with this conflict is all up to you.

How do I cope with mine?

I pray.

I pray.

And I pray.

But only after I released my anger to the person I'm in conflict with.

I realized that it's not wrong to get angry.

In fact, it's the Stage One of the healing process. Here read this article: The Only Thing That Can Heal Your Emotional Wounds.

Again, I'm God's Work in Progress

A lot of people have this wrong notion that just because I'm already attending The Feast, praying, and reading the Bible, I'd no longer create conflicts nor be in one.

I believe that God is working on me.

And the conflicts I'm facing right now, they're nothing compared to the bigger and greater plans that God has in stored for me.

My Prayer

Heavenly Father, thank you for continuously working in my life.

I may be experiencing conflicts right now,

But I know you will never abandon me,

And that you are preparing something great for me.

I also pray Father for those I am in conflict with

Cleanse their hearts oh Lord so that they may see You in their hearts.

Allow forgiveness to heal us all.

In Jesus Mighty Name, Amen.


Psalm 37:7-9

Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil. For evil men will be cut off, but those who hope in the LORD will inherit the land.